Whew! Life has had some crazy left turns since I last wrote for this blog. I am excited, however, to revamp TMAK and move forward with this space as more of a creative outlet than my original plan of taking over the world with this blog as my main squeeze. I feel like I was putting so much pressure on myself to keep up with this that I locked up and wasn’t able to produce anything that I liked. I had to take a step back and re-evaluate what this little corner of the internet means to me.
I recently celebrated my one-year anniversary of my relationship with New York City, or more specifically, Brooklyn. In one year I’ve made some amazing friends, explored new neighborhoods and even managed to wrangle myself a copy writing internship (yay!). The point of this move was not only to add some energy into my life and move forward with a career but also to grow as a person.
As the date of my second year came closer, it did, however, cause me to reflect on how much I’ve learned in one year and how much I have yet to experience. Some things went great like my new living space which I’m officially on a lease for one full year and feel like I’m finally settling into a room I’ll be in for a while. I’m learning how to become Katy 2.0 and move into a more professional space that doesn’t involve waiting tables. Not everything went as planned but, hey, that’s life, so I’m ready to move into the next phase.
My professional life was my focus when deciding to move. This travel company internship has been instrumental in more ways than just helping me move forward into a career but also taught me about knowing my self-worth. Having a “win” is helping me try and fight the anxiety monster that lives in my brain; who also loves to rear its ugly head juuuuuust as I’m about to fall asleep.
I read this article the other day about Impostor Syndrome and didn’t even realize there was a name for what I’ve been feeling lately. I can talk a big game to friends and family about moving to NYC to live the dream, but am I prepared for to start my new life here? I’m competing against people my age who dove into working in their field or had a million internships already and didn’t take five years to work in restaurants and travel the world.
Then the spiraling begins.
Realizing that my experiences are what makes me unique all I can do is take in constructive criticism and learn and grow as a writer. I was meant to be here; I can feel it in my bones that this was the right thing to do, now I just need to hit the pavement (or Indeed) and make it happen. Starting with attending the Gotham Writer Workshop this weekend; I’m hoping to meet people, learn something and do something besides wait tables on a Friday night (woop woop!). Not that I don’t love the people I work with at my restaurant job; I just need to move forward.
I may not have Sex and the City money or have a huge Friends-sized apartment or go to fancy parties, but that’s alright with me. This is real life, not a sitcom.
I love you and thank you for reading. There will be much more coming soon :).